I Feel So...

I need an outlet so just hear me out
Take five minutes to feel what I feel and what it's all about
I've been feeling so weird
I've lost myself
Not everything is so clear
I'm not sure if it is my mental health
My thoughts take me to a place so far distant
Sometimes good, maybe bad, but I am gifted
How do I know what to give time to think about and what to let go?
What do I rip apart and what do I let sow?
I used to think life went so fast, but now this feels so slow
I stay up, losing sleep
Thinking things that are oh so deep
Feelings that are oh so steep
A sadness that continues to creep
It's so hard to cope with things
It's so hard to adjust to what life brings
I'm only 16 and I've heard life sing
To the light of God is what I cling
But developing situations continue to sting
I just wish this was over
I wish complete happiness was only around the corner
Instead of me and anxiety getting stuck on the border
I consult my mind and give thought to what I live
And came to a conclusion......
I won't know the ending till it comes
And I can finally see the rising sun

/// I feel so ///
// Inexplicable //
I don't understand what my mind commands
But I can't stand one more minute
Of this pain and everyone who has to do with it
Bright spots become so minimal
I feel so inexplicable...

I feel...I don't know
It sucks
I don't know how things flow
I'm so... what the f***
It's impossible for me to express my feelings because I'm afraid I'll get hurt
I lead myself from experience and trust me it works
I gladly will leave you if you plan to take advantage
Try to break my heart again, it will be a difficult task to manage
People follow my problems like if they were fanatics
And a middle finger becomes almost automatic
It comes to a point where you can't stand it
The feeling of being uncomfortable
A mobile heart, leading me to all places, so my emotions stay portable
I will remain straight because it's all I can do
But to my sentimental being I will remain true
I will be on the move like a light beam
And don't worry this is not an issue on self-esteem
This is just a quest to find freedom in my dreams
To wake up in a world where there are different scenes
Some beyond you and me
So I keep it to myself, think what you won't but none of y'all know shit about me

/// I feel so ///
// Inexplicable //
I don't understand what my mind commands
But I can't stand one more minute
Of this pain and everyone who has to do with it
Bright spots become so minimal
I feel so inexplicable...